How living in a women’s only dorm transformed mine
Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash
After graduating college, I felt ashamed of living in a women-only residence thanks to internalized misogyny. That old thing.
“What would people think? Were women really full of gossip and drama? Will I have to dodge any cattiness?”
As a surprise to no one, I’d actually found the best living situation you could ask for. It was so healing, it led to my glow up.
Throwback to 1833. A pioneer mourning the death of her daughter established a residence to foster a safe place for young women who were starting out their lives. Almost 190 years later, this place evolved into a non-profit institution with a board of trustees, staff, donors, and alumnae.
Based in the heart of the city, two blocks from a major metro station with access to the surrounding area, the central location could not be better. The rent cost half the area’s average rate, which covered not only electricity, water, and internet, but also two full meals. Breakfast and dinner.
I hit the jackpot.
It was perfect for interns, students, and recent grads. The place provided a built-in community of smart, ambitious women working toward their dreams with the added benefit of friendship potential.
The biggest con was no kitchen access, so no home-cooked meals.
Oh, and also, plot twist.
No men or alcohol allowed on premises.
No men or alcohol allowed on premises.
No. Men. Or. Alcoho —
I lived in The Nunnery.
My last year of college was a blast. I really made it count. I did everything I’d always wanted to do that I also feared would be harder to do once I left campus.
I lived up my Party Girl era. Booze, boys, and bangers. All that pent-up stress from the week would get unleashed on the weekends. Nights turned into sunrises and I’d start it over again week after week.
So, to have graduated from that lifestyle and moved into The Nunnery was nothing short of drastic.
In reality, all those late-night parties were my coping mechanism. They were the pressure release valve from the accumulated stress of tackling the requirements needed to graduate while landing my next step to enter the world as a functional human being and young adult. A new, contributing member of society.
Coming home to my new space sans booze or men helped me glow up emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and as a result, surely, physically too.
I entered my sober and celibate chapter. I focused on prioritizing my well-being and long-term goals. I let go of all that didn’t serve me and healed old wounds from past unavailable partners and learned how to center myself.
I became intentional with my time and energy and through that process, manifested a whole partner who became the love of my life.
12 Vetting Questions to Ask Yourself On A New Date
I said no to everyone who came knocking until I knew I could say yes forever.medium.com
Living in an all-women’s dorm after college was the best thing that could have happened to me and for me. Even if you don’t get to experience the camaraderie, growth, and laughs that accompany moving to a new city with fun gals to explore it with, I highly recommend the celibate and sober chapter for at least a few months. You never know what you’ll find or attract.
Thanks for reading
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Melissa Chanthalangsy 
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