A story on fear and wisdom
Photo by Johann Siemens on Unsplash
I can’t believe it’s Day 11 of 30.
We’ve moved into the double digits of the month, and I can’t help but feel grateful to have finally heeded the call that has drawn me to this moment.
The first time I thought to challenge myself with 30 days of writing was in October of 2021. I found Allison Cecile’s stories on Medium. She documented her journey on the platform as she started off writing every day for 30 days while submitting her work to an array of publications. The process snowballed and she kept going for close to a year.
Her stories inspired me to start my own 30 days of writing.
It took me eight whole months to put pen to paper. To execute. To commit to the process.
In a way, I’m glad I took my time. In the grand scheme of things, I probably needed to for some reason I’ve yet to understand. I held a lot of fear surrounding the process. Fearing the thought of showing up, putting myself out there, showing myself what I could do, realizing my potential, and finding out exactly what I was capable of.
All of that fear led me to postpone, and ponder, and procrastinate.
The fear needs a name. Let’s call him Harry. If I could give Harry a voice, he’d say:
What will people think?
Who are you doing this for?
What if no one reads your stuff?
Isn’t there so much noise and garbage on content mills like Medium? Why contribute to all the noise?
What if you sacrifice quality for quantity? What will you do then?
I used to fault Harry for being so afraid. And now, I extend my compassion to him. Fear, after all, is a form of self-protection. Perhaps this little voice was trying to protect me.
There’s another voice that answers. And she needs a name too: Sophia. Sophia is wisdom. She is all-knowing, logical, and graceful. She has a way to soothe a fearful Harry.
She answers him like this:
What will people think?
Who knows what people will think. That is not your responsibility, nor is it your business.
Who are you doing this for?
You’re doing this for you. To show yourself exactly what you’re capable of. To expand your creativity. To practice your discipline.
And yet, perhaps deep down, you’re doing it for other people too. To show them what they can do. To serve as a mirror for whatever it is that people want to see.
“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
— Marianne Williamson
What if no one reads your stuff?
What if no one really does read your stuff?
Besides, isn’t there immense freedom in ascending the climb this way? With no expectations or judgment? There is an opportunity, a joy, a lightness, in writing into the void at this stage in your writing career. Isn’t it liberating to be able to experiment and fail to an audience of none?
Remember your why. Go from there.
Isn’t there so much noise and crap on content mills like Medium or other online blogs? Why contribute to all the noise?
Yes, indeed, there is SO much noise on Medium and the internet as a whole. But who is to say that you can’t or shouldn’t build and practice your skills by writing publicly? Why censor yourself or deprive yourself of this opportunity?
Why does everyone else get a chance to publish and showcase their worst work full of grammatical errors and careless words (or pointless garbage) that no one ever asked for? Is there a content limit as to how much trash the internet can actually handle?
Why does everyone else get the benefit of sucking as they start out, but you don’t? Give yourself a chance to try. A chance to fail. There’s no reason others get to have that chance and you don’t. Seize it.
What if you sacrifice quality for quantity? What will you do then?
How does quality happen if not for quantity? How did Quality get there if Quantity didn’t precede it?
Think of all the major artists out there. Van Gogh. Monet. Picasso. Surely, they started off as beginners too. Did their first-ever painting turn out the same way as their timeless masterpiece? That’s ridiculous.
Through repetition, refinement, and quantity can a true artist fully emerge with their finest quality. That’s how they fully build upon themselves. From iterating, tweaking, editing, adjusting, mastering, and practicing. Give yourself that chance.
I decided to write from the heart today because that is where my spirit’s at.
Sometimes, we fear our power, the control we have over our lives, the potential we have yet to fulfill, the unknown influence we can have over other people, and the ripple effects of our own healing, of our vulnerability.
I am simply doing what I came here to do. To write, to express, to create, to emote. And I’m thankful that you’re here with me, witnessing the climb, the ascent.
Thanks for reading!
If my article helped you, and you’re looking for a way to support me, please don’t hesitate to show me some financial love. ❤️
You might also like these pieces by me:
What It Feels Like To Choose Joy
A choice we make every day
3 Reassuring Truths About Your Inner Voice And How to Cultivate It
Everyone has an inner voice but not everyone tunes in.
Melissa Chanthalangsy 
Leave a Reply